Steps Must be Taken- Bored Now-
Salad and Wasted Sarcasm-
The Horse with the Grey/Blue
Give and Take- Foot
Does this Compute?-Kill the Boss-
-Brighton Witch Trials
Names have been changed to protect the marginally innocent
is called Run in's and Misunderstandings, some are Run In's some are total Misunderstandings- a few are a mixture of both
Must be Taken
must take steps
the Bressamer beam overhead
hang myself dead
must be taken
will kidnap them all,
pointless blonde one, who I am told is now appearing in
and the Beanstalk" at a theatre near you:
man who no-one knows in a band that no longer exists in a production that no-one cares for in a town that no-one gives a flying
fuck at a rolling donut about
must be taken
will also take the Dark haired girl
only because I am a pervert
would like to poke her with wooden spoons
her with a spatula
prod her with a pestle and mortar
must take steps
wrap them around my assistants stupid head
then walk up and down them
she orders me bagels with the red telephone cord wrapped around her wrinkly turkey skin neck as she gobbles up my post it
will take steps
up and down the retirement seafront
to rile the old fuckers up out of their lethargy and incontinence
give them a sense of initiative
to relive 'the good old days'
the better then If I dress up as Hitler and let them chase me in their mobility cars at 5mph
am not a Nazi
am just bored
need the adrenaline rush of the badly behaved
am bored with being nice
off with Loveliness
swallowing my own venom like a rattlesnake with a hangover
fucking ticks me off,
want to take steps
climb up your legs
ride you like a ghostrain
must take Steps
reel in my unfounded boredom and misplaced activities
poetry with a razor on the wall
in asses milk like a demi goddess of the underworld
now I see the eyes of my unborn daughter
affect me more than they should
foundations were wobbly to begin with
now my tower has been totally shaken
admit i'm happy and can't control my emotions
is nothing else for it:
Marjorie Razorblade 2007
Comments: This is probably in the wrong page- I might move it. It should be in the lightning post but then its a vent
and i'm not to be trifled with today. I'm in a particularly *nasty/rude/pedantic/revelatory/happy/confused/elated mood
*delete as applicable every five minutes
Ha ha. That was funny
You do have a way,
Of not following through
With one word that you say
I'm Bored Now
Come back when you're clever,
Come back when you're tactful
(So then, that'll be never)
If i'm offended, that's funny, as it's just what you do!
But i'm better at it doll- Shall I prove it to you?
You're arrogant lazy, pig headed and blunt,
'A bit of a cunt'
(And not the good part- man's prediliction for affections)
I wouldn't give you the time
Nor give you directions
If your mind were a map- it would only be blank
If you were a word- it would only be wank
If you were a cake- it would only taste rank
If you were a merchant- you'd own your own bank
Maybe it's clear, I'm Bored Now its boring
Should I put on pajamas yet? When should I start snoring?
Shall I tell you you bore me? Shall I tell you my thoughts?
If you were a disease
You'd be genital warts
If you were a sickness
I guess you'd be cancer
Are you getting the message?
You don't have to answer
You don't have to speak
You don't have to breathe
You don't have to live
You just have to leave
Exit- Fuck off- Go Away- Flee
I'm Bored Now
(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007
Comments: Bored Now. I wrote this for someone who just gets on my tits with his random
fluctuation between not speaking to me/being in love with me/not liking me/insulting me/being nice to me/phoning/not phoning/texting/not
texting/emailing/not emailing and on and on and on and on- this has been going on for months and months. Bored Now.
Funny how men get it so fucking wrong all the fucking time.
That applies to all of you- sort-your-fucking-life-out
Fruit Salad and Wasted Sarcasm.
“I’m mixed race,” she says nonchalantly over her fruit salad.
It’s warm outside, today the sun is trying to climb over the pinnacle of some Strato Cumulus and having
marginal success, still it’s not fruit salad weather, but she’s young and impressionable; the excitable type who
bring out their halter necked sun tops on a half-arsed day of white sunshine in mid March. The wind is blowing, it’s
deceptive, I should be indoors with soup but nnoo, she is the new girl, today, is her day.
Tomorrow though…I take over the world and she will be lining up against the wall blindfolded.
But that’s then; this is now.
“My great great grandmother was half Dutch, well she lived there for a while, her grandmothers
mother was Irish and her great grandfather father was from Scotland.”
(If she’s mixed race, then I’m a fucking Monkey.)
Now there’s a thought….
“ Really? I’m mixed race too,” I say suddenly in all seriousness trying not to swallow my
“Yeah, my great great great great great (insert few more ‘greats’, however many you can be
bothered with) …great great grandmother was from Borneo. She had red hair, funny looking, face like an inner
tube, and really long arms.”
I immediately shove some pineapple into my mouth just to force me to stop talking.
The seat we’re sitting on is made of concrete, my legs are cold, the wind is blowing up my top and I’m
not in the mood for fruit fucking salad.
“Well you’ve got a bit of red in your hair” She says “And I didn’t want to say
this, but your arms are kinda long. You’re not funny looking though, you’re actually kinda pretty”
(This is backfiring- plus she keeps saying “kinda” – something either is or isn’t- it’s
not kinda anything, I’ve either got freakishly long arms or normal arms, I’m either pretty or I’m not, maybe
that’s a bit black and white, anyway, she’s pushed my buttons – now she’s for it)
“But on my other side,” I continue, (in my head I’m already rubbing my hands around each other,
narrowing my eyes and cackling profusely) “My great great great (repeat x 10) grandfather lived at sea. (Oh God this
is painful) he liked swimming, eventually he gave up the sea and found dry land, then he learned how to walk and lived in
a cave, he was a great artist, funny he turned into an arsonist, liked fire, I don’t suppose anyone saw that coming,
anyway then he travelled across Pangier, it was getting a bit cold by then and finally his offspring lived in Europe, settled
She ‘s not listening.
Wasted sarcasm is like having a passing stranger stick red-hot pokers in your eyes, after asking them to do
it, if they wouldn’t mind that is, and maybe while they were at it, could they also steal all of your money, run over
your mother and set fire to your house and all of your possessions? Hmph… wasted sarcasm.
“ Do you want my banana?” She asks innocently.
I am looking forward to tomorrow already.
(C) Marjorie Razorblade 2007
Comments: Walked straight into that one didn't I?
with the Grey/Blue Eyes
White diamond forehead
Chewing a carrot crunching like
footsteps across a pebbly beach
Midnight in your eyes
Pink snuffled gums
And hooves like giant white porcelain
She brushes his coat distractedly
doesn’t want it.
He just wants to eat his carrots
He’s old-Just wants a quiet
“Stay still YOU CUNT!”
She called him a cunt. You can’t
call a horse a cunt.
You just can’t.
has my attention...
Head in the bucket- another carrot
Yum Yum, he says, I do love my
“ I SAID fucking stay STILL”
She kicks him.
Once, twice, three four on five
I have dropped my brushes
On six she is down and clutching
her nose scrambling for cover
I hold a carrot out in my wet
palm, he doesn’t seem to care
Yum Yum I do love my carrots he
I brush his coat, stroke my red
Through his beautiful silver hair.
(c) Marjorie Razorblade
Comments: I was working at a zoo painting
a mural in the Tiger House a few years back- I used to walk round the part that was out of bounds to visitors by routine,
past the penguin enclosure, round the lion house, chuck some fruit to the monkeys and finally go and see the horses to say
good morning. After this happened I couldn’t paint for two days. The things I saw there still bothers me.