Marjorie Razorblade

Paper- Scissors- RAWK!

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Discord- "The Jay"-  As Clouds Go By- The Whipering- Love in a Mist- Change for the Better -Twenty Five Minutes - Big Skies - Freudian Slip - "Dollface"- Supernova - "The Sum of all Parts" - Thundergods- The Nameless
 
 
 

Discord

 

My life really isn't so bad
I've just lost the will to be optimistic,
Grown into cynicism, settled into my old bones, setting myself in my ways,
I find it incredibly difficult to trust people,
Have but a few faces I can instantly conjure to my minds eye
A practical realist who juggles women like a handful of tennis balls

A girl with a mane
A girl with a swirl addiction and eyes like kaleidoscopes
And you- I trust you. sometimes
I'm in my thirties now
It makes you introspective and anxious
I have an overpowering feeling of impending doom- like falling
I've lived in the shadow of depression for quite some time now
And I've even walked into it head on- I'm terrified of doing it again
Sometimes at night I think I miss my old life
I might have been happier then, I'm not sure
I regret much
I'm eternally optimistic of feeling utter completion from somewheresomethingsomebody
I await that moment of falling and letting go
It's scary to think of
I'm stand off-ish and cautious in that respect- I don't want to be trampled on, or buried under the headstone without finding absolute peace
But, in all of life's ups and downs
I've learnt one thing:

Fuck Love, all you need are great shoes.

(c) Marjorie Razorblade

 

 

 

 

 

"The Jay"


The Jay flies to my windowsill,
Grey eyes glinting in the afternoon sun
Feathers rippled with velvet undercurrent
From Riverbank over Downs
A ragged Philanthropist of aerial acrobatics
He stands before me..
In the middle of my life
The bookend to the world outside my window,
I scrabble round searching for something to offer him- anything I can lay my hands on;
A silver ring, a box of chocolates in a red satin box,
The Jay stands still searching the horizon
And disinterested in my feeble offerings-
He flies away
I break down in a thousand tears
He flies back

I love


The Jay.


(c) Marjorie Razorblade 04-02-07


 


Comments:

Writing this poem just about killed me. Poems about birds are the most personal- none more so than this one. Sometimes they just fly in when you least expect it.

Obviously, birds being representative of words you cannot directly say in a poem.

 

 

 

You.  Are the Jay

 

 

 

 

As Clouds go by

The click of the pavement and my heels on asphalt cloudy day 9 Celsius stormy weather on the way looking out of a broken sash window pane repaired in 1980 by a man glazing above window boxes in the rain onwards to the sea of indigo as a newspaper blows by on a current of warm tropical jet plane fuselage searing heat and women shake sheets and children break moves on skateboards on the street the yellow dresses swirling the white ford Orions swinging green Christmas trees in rear view mirrors on the past as babies laugh in back seat high chairs with rattles of blue and heart shaped safety harnesses that watches them sleep soundly as life flashes a second out as the pavement clicking with heels on asphalt.

 

Cloudy day 9 Celsius.

 

Marjorie Razorblade 2006

 

 

The Whispering

Sometimes I can still hear your voice...
I think about it whispering in my ear
But I can never make out what you’re trying to say
I sometimes used to pretend to be asleep
So I could hear you say
‘See you in the morning beautiful one’
But then, I’d always be thinking about saying that to someone else
And now
No-one whispers..
And with hindsight, I should have opened my eyes and smiled.


marjorierazorblade, 2003-07-25

 

 

Love in a Mist

Wasted love lies foolishly on the pillow, weeping of tears and broken hearts of desire that knows not true depths of human emotion and the joy and sanctity of life; does this not then mean that love is an expression of futility spent on a white cotton sheet when the words you wish to speak come out as a muffled double meaning or sleight of hand gesture which is lost forevermore in tactile agreement, or could this just be a colourful idiom with which to populate a thousand hearts with one padlock and the proud owner of just one key?
Love I think would be best left unspoken
Unless of course
Tis said… from you to me…

 

 

(C) Marjorie Razorblade 2005

 

 

 

Change for the Better

Unless you sacrifice certain things in order to change
Life will remain the same;
You will always be the same person
You'll stay the same, work the same, live the same day,
And nothing will make a difference, not even the words you randomly say

Instigate change and anything is possible

Every great achievement of the human race has been accomplished by people who are more or less just like you

They had obstacles to overcome, self doubt to conquer, knowledge to acquire, steps to take, mistakes to correct and the requirement to keep on trying in order to succeed.
The most likely scenario is that you are fully capable of doing what you have envisioned or you would not have thought it in the first place.
Believe yourself capable and take the next step.

(c) Marjorie Razorblade 02-02-07
 
 
Comments:
Fancy that- optimism. Fucking marvellous.
 
 

 

Twenty Five Minutes

In twenty five minutes , I realised the door is capable of being closed.

The cup runeth out and the look of love fades into dust.

In twenty five minutes I came to terms with the error of my ways, not changing myself for those around me but settling into my own skin

And reminding people all around me,

That beauty comes from within...

In Twenty five minutes I changed my world, my ideals, my feelings and those I loved to be replaced with sturdier more methodical version s full of real depth and real emotion and reality

In twenty five minutes I changed the beat, the tempo ,the song...

In another five minutes i'll be convinced

That i'm right for me

But you my love, are all wrong.

 

(c) Marjorie Razorblade 02-02-07

 

comments: Realisation at midnight

 

 

 

Big Skies

I followed a satellite
Watched it spin reflected in my eyes
I saw a thousand sunsets
Died a thousand times
And saw soldiers march to their deaths
I've felt lost every single day,
I walked the same path every day,
I've woken and breathed and died each day,
I've always felt like something is missing from my life
It comes from within
An emptiness I cannot fill..
And people know where it is and stick their fingers in it
And swirl them around
I've never been touched by something wonderful
I've grasped things for a short time which have brought happiness
But sometimes ....


The grief is overwhelming


And the only comfort I find
Is knowing that that amongst the stars
Something is watching over me.

 

(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007

 

Freudian Slip
Philosophise,
You may finally uncover the meaning behind these words
You may one day draw a perfect circle
You might someday listen to the sound of one hand clapping
And it's quite possible that you may discover the path to finding yourself
Which is just round the corner from your frontal lobe hiding in photosensitivity
One day the search for the truth will bring you past my door
The quest of self importance will see you turning into another street
And knowledge of your reality will have me move house
Because perception is not your strong point ...
What I meant to say was,


I'm fucking tired of speculation

 

(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007

 

Comments: You have to wonder about the ones with no comment.

 
 
 
"Dollface"
A term of endearment for those I love
Sometimes for those
I want to fuck senseless
(Never for those I do not give a fuck for)
Sugar Tits and Kitten
Those are the special ones
And for those under my wing:
Spoe-'Mr Spanky'- RayRay
Magical names forever untouchable
And you:
I would never call you dollface.
Your position much higher-
 
I refer to you as babe
And secretly
as
"My
Hearts
Desire.."
 
(c) Marjorie Razorblade 02-02-07
 
Comments:
Almost everyone I like/love/adore is "Dollface" Names are for people that mean nothing.
What's in a name dollface?
"Dollface" and "Hearts Desire" taken from "Thundergods"...a favourite of mine. Hey I can have a favourite that's my own! It's allowed!
 
 
 
 
 
 

Supernova

Stars are moving backwards
Time is standing still
People are frozen all around me
I close the shutters behind my eyes and live on fear
Blocking out the black hole in the event horizon of increasing velocity
Coming closer to ripping the fabric of my world in two,
A singularity in the chaos of my life appears,
A star is born,
That star is you.

(c)Marjorie Razorblade 2004

 

 

 

 

 

"The Sum of all Parts"

I fell over today
Got helped up by a young man of about twenty five dressed in a hooded coat
Black as the Ace of spades with white teeth like stars; he leant over and grinned at me


Beautiful Like an dirty Angel


He stood me up and brushed my coat down and said with a smile
"The sum of all parts." Laughing; he walked away leaving me with a kiss on the cheek and a pretend punch on the chin
I watched him bounce down the street like a rainbow in a petrol puddle,

Like a peacock in the dark

I stood there with my mouth open and smiled when I heard him shout from down the street


"You're so important to some body!"


I went home and laughed at the simpleness of it all.

And I just thought I'd share that with you.


(c) Marjorie Razorblade

 

 

 

 

 

Thundergods

 

I boiled at the sound of the screaming

With rage and fury I slammed my fist against the table

Coffee spilling, ashtrays overturning, a pencil rolling, the whisky knocked from your hand

And thank god we argue and spit venom and breathe fire

But I only argue like this with my father

And never with you,

My hearts desire.

 

(c) Marjorie Razorblade

 

 

Comments: I used to argue with my father all the time about Phillosophy, Politics, Art (our favourite) and Religion...and sometimes whether or not I really need another cuddle.

 

 

 

 

The Nameless

Listen to the grass growing

The white noise

Washing my hands from ridiculous people

The hair falls into your eye

You're too old for me

I rub your back

I look out of the window

The paint's peeling from the corner of the green cupboard

I once dreamt of you before we met

I always smell of lilac

The face you wear to bed makes me feel sad

I think of you in marble

I live in rockpools

I feel the tide

In a certain light you could mistake me as just another shadow

I have depth

I am a white light

The eclipse of the Sun

A cold wind blowing through your grey overcoat

I ride a white horse

I call your name

Blink and I am gone

And will bother you no more.

 

 

(c) Marjorie Razorblade

 

 

Comments: One line per person.