Marjorie Razorblade

Leaps and Bounds

 Love is Like...- Kazoo- Colour my Life - Leaps and Bounds -Altitude - A Night on the Plutonian Shore -  Four Years Late - I can’t be Arsed

Love is Like...



Love is like poetry

Linguistically Hell

Sometimes it’s appalling

At times it goes well

           Occasional compliments, yet some days no-one cares

Wish I could be Byron

But I’m Pam fucking Ayres.


(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007






Death Strip

Love is a warzone

That clouds all the senses

Makes me feel hostile

And raise my defences

I sometimes look out from my gun turret crying,

Why is there blood on my hands,

And there’s only me dying?


(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007







Love is a board game

It needs no conversation

Just tactile manoeuvres

And much concentration

I’m no good at board games; I’m just bloody crap

When my opponent says, “Checkmate”

I stand and shout, “Snap!”


(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007



Bio-Molecular Science 2:1

Love is like Science

It causes psychosis

It’s growth exponential

And formed by Mitosis

How often it seems under close introspection

I lie under the microscope

Awaiting dissection.


(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007





My Heart is a Kazoo

A party streamer

A pifling noise

A misdemeanour

How sometimes it seems

The noise echoes for years

And sometimes I can't see

The wood for the tears

My heart is a trumpet

With three missing keys

My heart is a dog

And is riddled with fleas

My heart is an army

With little advance

My heart is a tricycle

In the Tour De France

How Sometimes it seems

My Heart is a Kazoo

Its makes stupid noises

And it bloody well makes them for you


(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007


Comments: thhrrrppppwweeeeeeeeee. Kazoo's are just the most stupidest things on the planet, apart from toupees, cross stitch embroidery of cats, Black Magic chocolates, Old Spice and Majorettes. 'My Heart is a Kazoo' just popped in there. I'm annoyed by such mindless stupidity...although admittedly it is funny tee hee hee.





Colour my Life


You have coloured my life

I am wearing Pink.

Whether I wanted to or not,

I am wearing Pink


You have coloured my life



Was never part of the deal.

                      Today I painted a Red stripe down the middle of a canvas;

I thought of the inside of your mouth.

My hands around your throat,

Your fingers in my hair,

A fire burning inside,



I thought of you.




I do not care for Blue

My life is colourful enough without Blue coming in and ruining it

But Temperance declares that; the volatile mixture of blue and red

Creates an other worldy




You have coloured my life

And now nothing is as Black and White as it used to be,

Nor will ever be.

You have coloured my life

Marjorie Razorblade bays for your blood.



(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007


Comments: Marjorie Razorblade is Black and White! What's happened?!




Leaps and Bounds

Life has rolled with Leaps and Bounds

I run across an empty field

With a voice in my ear

That says

“Release the Hounds”

               And Kate Bush is running up her hill

              And Alanis Morissette swallows her jagged little pill

                     And Keith Richards bears a passing resemblance

          Though he carries off haggard with considerably more skill

Yet everyone says I look great

“My God Marjorie, you’ve lost weight”

Flattery in vanity is unappealing

I stare embarassed at the ceiling

"Thanks" I utter

bearing no trace of my stutter

I cover it with swear words which I frequently mutter

    Like fuck

    And cunt

     And bollocks

    And balls

I stalk room from room

I pace up and down magnolia halls

I hear music breaking through in waves of colour

I cant decide if I should be one or the other

And only making one person happy

Is enough, but it’s not my mother

Its me, now there’s a thing

I never used to wear pink


And I never used to sing


Its nothing to do with my lack of sleep

I’m just bound for change


But I don’t look


I leap.


Marjorie Razorblade 2007 


Comments: Revelatory openness will be my undoing. Fine I like untying myself from a billion knots I’ve tied myself up in. Its liberating to be lacking self effacing qualities for the first time in my life. Fuck it I say. Like it or lump it.





A Night on the Plutonian Shore


Are we reading from the same page?

No I think we are definitely not

Can I read you a poem that I found in a book says he

No I say, you may not

(Bird or not)

The voice of my new love is the only poetry I need to fill my ears

With his words

Anything he says

Anything at all


Whatever it is at all


Anything at all

Save for the sound of your heart as a distant drumming of the past

There is

Nothing more

Nothing more

A Night on the Plutonian shore

It was nothing

You’re welcome

And like the Raven

I say

It was nothing

But no more

No more

Never more

I don’t want this from you


No more

No more.


Marjorie Razorblade 2007


Comments: I had to change the comments- I hate to do this. But I did for good reason- this is about someone whom I care a lot about. I don't want to upset them. They've been through enough.





Four Years Late

I’m Four Years Late for my appointment

I’m really in a world of trouble,

You’ve been my lucky silver sword

A poets pen

To burst my bubble


And friends have offered their commitment and Four Years Late

Is no time at all,

In another four years I’d have had four more years

To have stared at a pastel coloured empty wall

But I don’t need the Metatron to announce from God;

“I was waiting Marjorie,

I was waiting

I was waiting in all day

For your call”



It never came


And really when I’m Four Years Late,

Is there anyone else

Who should take the blame?



Marjorie Razorblade 2007


Comments: No comment





I can’t be Arsed


I can’t even begin to contemplate the intricacies of the lesser species

Nothing is ever good enough.

I have had 2 serious boyfriends, from cradle to grave this could be it.

And both of these people were ever so slightly mental,

The fact I was too

Above all probability, I’m hoping was random, or co-incidental


It’s the same with work:

I care about the Environment

But sometimes caring about something is not enough

It’s not enough to love something and watch it disappear

I feel like I’m polishing brass on the Titanic,

It’s not enough to have plain Vinegarette

Now we have to have

fucking Balsamic


The trifling issues of the world leave me aggravated

And I can’t fix anything without something else going wrong

If I were a plumber I’d be waist deep in water

A random person keeps texting me with jovial nonsense while I’m in the middle of thinking about something that won’t last-

Its not manic depression it’s just an Atonement

As they say in the trade:

I just can’t be arsed.



(c) Marjorie Razorblade 2007



Comments: Atonement- penance-penitence etc etc. In the past i've had to continually apologise for others shortfalls even when I shouln't have to. Ever apologised for something you didn't need to? Yes well then take this poem as your Atonement too. If other people fuck up- let them do it, don't apologise to make everything better or for a quiet life. I'm not going to anymore. God I'm going to be the grumpiest old witch on the planet. Good. I hope I get warts and a menacing cackle. I might buy a toad in preparation.