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Fuck It
**********
My life really isn't so bad
I've just lost the will to live,
Grown into cyncism, settled into my old bones, setting myself in my ways,
I find it incredibly difficult to trust people,
Have but a few faces I can instantly conjure to my minds eye
A practical realist who juggles sadness like a handful of tennis balls
A girl with a swirl addiction and eyes like kaeidoscopes And you-
I trust you sometimes.
I'm thirty one
Introspective and anxious
I have an overpowering feeling of impending doom- like falling
I've lived in the shadow of depression for quite some time now
And i've even walked into it head on- i'm terrified of doing it again
Sometimes at night I think I miss my old life
I might have been happier then, i'm not sure
I regret much
I'm eternally optimistic of feeling utter completion from somewheresomethingsomebody
I await that moment of falling and letting go
It's scary to think of
I'm stand off-ish and cautious in that respect-
I don't want to be trampled on, or buried under the headstone without finding absolute peace
But, in all of life's ups and downs
I've learnt one thing:
Fuck love, all you need are great shoes.
(c) Marjorie razorblade
Hummingbird
*************
Singing songs like a hummingbird
I sat in the bath with fleur de lys wallpaper resembling roses of great vulgarity,
Washing behind my ears straining with the effort of mixing the hot tap-cold water-hot water-cold water with my toe, when
it occurred to me:
Video piracy is a crime and should not be accepted
You need to strike matches away from your face when you light them
And the cosmic harmony of the world is contained within my finger
Beware of me when I point at you in a public place,
You may feel love
And wish you were here to wash my face.
(c) Marjorie Razorblade
Twist
*****
Stick or twist
Shit or bust
Fire or water
Love or lust
Mud or magic
Blood or soap
Knife or razor
Pills or rope
Ledge or window
Neck or wrist
Shit or bust
or
Stick or twist.
(c) Marjorie Razorblade
Danger
*******
I say what's in my heart
-This is dangerous-
I try and make it better with my lips
If I was more attractive I would find this easy
And be less of a pushover because no-one believes my honesty
I'm very sentimental and love harder than an acceptable standard
Maybe it's because of this
I always feel abandoned.
(c) Marjorie Razorblade
Lover
*******
Lover you hath brought me
All the joys of living
All the tears of desperation
The rapture of union
The loneliness of separation
The desolation of departure
A pang of hope
Solidarity of impeccable dreams
Love in its iron hand and velvet glove
Impending doom of days ending
Elation of sunrise
And spider-web of limitless sadness
A myriad of implausible lies
And for that I bring you love
(c) Marjorie Razorblade
Killer.
*******
Its' been six weeks since my last kill,
I said 'no more' but even still,
I cant be cured
Its evil will
And you have just upset me.
Turned off by you and just ignored
My feelings rose and temper soared
Four doors away i've feelings still
For you,
But then I just might kill
I'm trying hard each night I pray
And though i'm calm inside each day
You pay my way
I fit your bill
But those I love,
I have to kill.
(C) Marjorie Razorblade
The Life of Ivy
******************
My feet would leave no footprints in the sand
No fingerprints in the dust
I pass through hearts and minds as a whisper
Such complexities make life disdainful
Ivy clinging to a stone facade of ancient ruins;
Stripped of former glory, bombed from wars of mankind, pillaged of sanity,
Raped by God
decorating a place where nothing else chooses to grow
Clinging to things past
Too slow to move to things future
Always stuck in things present
Longing to be uprooted and placed somewhere important,
Respected
Variegated
Casting shadows on immovable obstacles
And secrets unearthed from random factors and veined fingers
Invisible to tourists
In photos
On the face of humanity
Days and nights
Under broken stars
Just Ivy
Just Ivy
Nothing more to you
(c) Marjorie Razorblade
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