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Staphylococcus aureus
This is a quite common *Gram-Positive nastie which lives around the mouth nose and genitals. It's fine until the skin is broken,
then all hell lets loose causing boils, oozing sores, toxic shock syndrome and impetigo! Icky! Get some Savlon if you get
Staphlycoccus and don't itch it!
Candida albicans
Ofph! Cottage Cheese alert! Candida is a fungal infection causing white lesions which are usually a result of increased antibiotics,
low immunity or increased sexual activity. It lives in warm moist air free areas like inside the mouth and sexual organs,
men get it too y'know so wipe that smile off yer face! Natural yoghurt works wonders on it, provided its not strawberry flavour!
Eschericha coli
Everyone's heard of this one...E coli is a Gram-Negative (means it can't form spores) enterobacteria, that lives in yer guts
synthesizing vitamins and proteins, it's also an oportunistic pathogen which means it's ok while inside your body acting as
part of your internal microflora (healthy bug- eating protection for your belly), but outside, it's a naughty nastie which
causes diarrhoea and vomitting which is easily transferrable, it even causes necrotizing bacteria to thrive! Eek.
Psuedomonas aeruginosa
Hmph another opportunistic pathogen (as are most it seems) particularly problematic to people having transplants as this is
the one that causes those 'orrible infections as it can infect ALL tissue. Guaranteed to kill 50% of patients undergoing transplants,
scary. Its favourite causes are Urinary Tract infections and Dermatitis, nice little bugger this one.
(Oh and the reason her hand is over her mouth, is becasue she could smell her own decay....ICK!)
Human Papilloma Virus (HPV)
That stranger in the pub might be to blame for increasing fleshy, cauliflower-like warts developing on and inside your genitals,
anus and throat. Caused by bacterial infection which have been left to their own devices and bad hygiene. If you want to get
rid of them, you'll need to have them frozen off at the same time you arrange to have their legs broken I should think.
Ebola
The Ebola virus is transmitted by direct contact with the blood, secretions, organs or other bodily fluids of infected persons.
The infection of human cases with Ebola virus has been documented through handling of infected chimpanzees and gorillas. Characterized
by the sudden onset of fever, intense weakness, muscle pain, headache and sore throat, followed by vomiting, diarrhoea, impaired
kidney and liver function, and internal and external bleeding. No vaccine is available for Ebola haemorrhagic fever. You
get it, you die.
Asian Bird Flu (Avian Influenza)
Avian influenza is an infectious disease of birds caused by type A strains of the influenza virus known as H5N2. Known as
highly pathogenic avian influenza, this form is characterized by sudden onset, severe illness, and rapid death, with a mortality
rate approaching 100%. It has mutated rapidly into highly pathogenic virus. During an epidemic in the US, the H5N2 virus initially
caused low mortality, within six months became highly pathogenic. It is one of the fastest pathogenic killers, within three
days Hong Kong's entire poultry population, estimated at around 1.5 million birds showed signs of H5N2, killing over 40%.
Stay away from the boids!
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