Green Goo!

Ah... Green things

Nothing better than discovering that erstwhile sherbet lemon you left overnight on the lab counter, has turned into a green pile of sticky poisionous goo by morning and has developed itself into a scientific abomination. I personally once sneezed into a Petri dish and then had to tell my tutor I had grown a rare type of pathogenic bacteria ( rare strain of E.Coli 157). I also had to take a week off after everyone caught it. Oopsie.

Anyway, tangents...here we celebrate all things Green!

God Almighty if you don't know this by now you never will...

Grass is green because it is filled with chlorophyll (not chloroform- my favourite) that's a green pigment which reflects green light from the sun in Photosystem I and II (or P680/ P700 to you and me) which absorbs the other colors, so shows as green. Ha! Simple!

Alright, but why are Snot and Bogies Green?

Your Bogies and Snot are green because you're a healthy individual!

If you were unhealthy, lived in a grimy city or town, or smoked like a chimney then you're snot gubbins would be grey or black.

A pigment in your body called Biliverdin (which comes from your Bile Duct) makes your pee yellow, poo brown and your bogies green. Hooray for green bogies!

Hm attractive

No Brains , no Bogies

The Green Cross Code then? What's that all about?

The very thought of a man with dressed in Green Lycra jumping out on schoolchildren, terrified millions into into Stop Looking and Listening (the Green Cross Code). There's words for people like that in the 21st century- A Road Awareness Spandex-wearing Paedo if i'm not mistaken.

And if that didn't work then Alvin Stardust would scare the bejasus out of you with his enormous sideburns.

Any more green questions?

And the Green-Eyed Monster, 'spose you've got an answer for that too?

Well actually, I have *blows raspberry.*

The Green Eyed Monster first appeared in Shakespeares play Othello, and he seems to appear whenever someone is feeling particularly jealous of another persons circumstances, (jealousy of course being green). No-one actually knows what he looks like but here is my very own artists impression...

What about the Jolly Green Giant then smartypants, why's he Green? Ha!

Oh for fu..

The Jolly Green Giant is Green because he came from Greenland (which, before you ask, is also green) he lives in a greenhouse (yes, yes) and is approxiamtely 60ft tall which makes him pretty close to the sun and therefore he is able to photosynthesize at an alarming rate. Plus he hasn't sat down since 1925 which has nothing to do with anything but I like to prove a point. Now stop asking me why things are green. I've got a headache.

see? now bugger off with yer green questions greeny.